Post by Captain Hammer on Aug 7, 2009 7:16:15 GMT -8
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CLOSE BUDDIES;{you and I, drunk again}
GOOD FRIENDS;{laughs have been had, tears have been shed}
OKAY FRIENDS;{maybe the whisky has gone to my head}
PARTNERS IN CRIME;{but if i were gay, i would give you my heart}
OTHER HALF;{and if i were gay, you’d be my work of art}
PRACTICALLY MARRIED;{and if i were gay, we would swim in romance}
PRACTICALLY FAMILY;{but i’m not gay}
ACQUAINTANCES;{so get your hand out of my pants}
CHILDHOOD FRIENDS;{it’s not that i don’t care; i do}
FRIEND OF A FRIEND;{i just don’t see myself in you}
ON-AND-OFF FRIENDS;{another time, another scene}
FORMER ENEMIES;{i’d be right behind you}
SECRET FRIENDS;{if you know what i mean}
SAME CLIQUE;{’cause if i were gay, i would give you my soul}
CONFIDANT;{and if i were gay, i would give you my whole…being}
CIRCLE OF TRUST;{and if i were gay, we would tear down the walls}
PARTY BUDDIES;{but i’m not gay}
DRINKING BUDDIES;{so won’t you stop cupping my ba— …hand}
INSEPARABLE;{we’ve never hugged, we’ve never kissed}
YOU FOLLOW HAMMER;{i’ve never been intimate with your fist}
HAMMER FOLLOWS YOU;{you have opened brand new doors}
JUST MET;{get over here and drop…your…drawers}
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MUTUAL HATRED;{i never ever ever mentioned your name or the review that you wrote when i was new to this game}
HAMMER HATES YOU;{but now the time has come; i think i've dealt with my feelings at last}
YOU HATE HAMMER;{i really wanna forgive you, phil, yeah, i wanna put the past in the past, ah-ho}
MUTUAL DISLIKE;{and as this is london town, i thought i oughtta take the opportunity}
HAMMER DISLIKES YOU;{’cause there’s a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you; maybe they will pass on a message for me}
YOU DISLIKE HAMMER;{just wanna say, phil daoust, occasional guardian newspaper journal-oust}
RIVALS;{that it’s been three years since you wrote it, and time is very healing}
FRIENDLY RIVALS;{but i still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face and make your children watch while i force you to eat them}
DISTRUST;{yeah, i wanna make your children watch you eat your own face meat!}
BETRAYED;{ding dang ding dang dong, this is my phil daoust song, everybody sing along}
JEALOUSY;{tra la la la la la la, i hope one of your family members dies!}
DISLIKED BY ASSOCIATION;{phil, ding dang dong, i've written you this special song to help you get the attention you obviously desperately lack}
ENEMIES;{and i know that you’re a smart man, and with such a fine mind, i guess it has to be hard}
ANNOYANCE;{to resist throwing narcissistic intellectual tantrums in the supermarket aisles of your self-regard}
AVOIDANCE;{just wanna say, phil daoust, i know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust}
TOLERANCE;{what with the deadlines always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining}
INDIFFERENCE;{so maybe you should quit and get a job that you’d be better at, like killing yourself, you f**king c**t!}
FALSE DISLIKE;{ding dang ding dang dong, this is my phil daoust song, everybody sing along}
FORMER FRIENDS;{tra la la la la la la i hope something you love catches on fire!}
CUCKOLDED;{phil, ding dang dong, i've written you this special song to show how far i've come along}
FALSE FRIENDS;{in my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback…}
INTIMIDATION;{…you f**king poo-face.}
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CURRENT;{the sky is blue}
FUTURE;{there’s no-one here}
IN LOVE;{just me and you}
MUTUAL CRUSH;{this would be such a perfect moment}
HAMMER LIKES YOU;{if you were breathing}
YOU LIKE HAMMER;{the birds are singing}
ENDED ON GOOD TERMS;{in the trees}
ENDED ON BAD TERMS;{and there’s a gentle}
OVER EACH OTHER;{summer breeze}
PAST CHEMISTRY;{it’s a lovely day, so please}
FLEETING GLANCES;{would you start breathing?}
FLIRTING;{our picnic started really well}
DENIED FEELINGS;{i made you peanut butter sandwiches}
ON-AND-OFF;{but you forgot to tell me}
LUST;{you’re allergic to peanuts}
F**KBUDDIES;{and…sandwiches}
ONE NIGHT STAND;{it’s quite a shock}
FLING;{but all the same}
SEXUAL TENSION;{now i get}
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS;{twice as much champagne}
ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS;{and that should take away the shame}
SOULMATES;{of abducting you in the first place.}[/color]
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PARENT;{in life there are many things; some of them are the same, and some are opposites}
SIBLING;{about some of these things i do sing}
COUSIN;{a cactus is the opposite of a chair; in my house you can sit anywhere but there, especially if your ass is bare}
OTHER FAMILY;{a bird house is not the same as a bird home; one is much more comfortable for birds}
FIANCÉ;{these are sames and opposites, my friends, which I determined}
SPOUSE;{a musical is the same as a burlap sack; i would not want to be in either}
MUTUAL RESPECT;{a squirrel is the same as a can, when there’s a b-b-gun in my hand}
YOU RESPECT HAMMER;{can’t you see that i am just a man, with distinctions and comparisons?}
HAMMER RESPECTS YOU;{spare change is the same as wedgies for me; i don’t give it unless someone is really asking}
GOOD INFLUENCE;{saying i apologise is the same as saying i'm sorry, they’re the same…unless you’re at a funeral}
BAD INFLUENCE;{to live is the same as to dream; if you do both long enough you’ll see}
HAMMER PROTECTS YOU;{but you have to work in between, unless you have narcolepsy}
YOU PROTECT HAMMER;{earrings are the same as sneezes; two’s okay, but ten in a row is annoying}
MUTUAL PROTECTION;{if you have two, then god bless you}
ROOMMATE;{these are sames and opposites, my friends, which i have determined}
CLASSMATE;{a secret admirer is the same as a stalker…with stationery}
MENTOR;{an ex-girlfriend is the same as an okay movie; i liked it at the time but i don’t want to see it again, especially if the movie is kind of…a bitch}
IDOLISATION;{these are sames and opposites, my friends, which i have determined…so far}[/color]
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To get the colours and other coding, quote my post.
Lyrics I used are, in order: "If I Were Gay" by Stephen Lynch, "The Song For Phil Daoust" by Tim Minchin, "Picnic" by Sammy J, and "Sames And Opposites" by Demetri Martin.
[center][img]100x100icon of your character[/img] --- [img]100x100icon of your character[/img]
[size=18]Basics[/size]
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Alignment:[/b] (hero/villain/antihero/henchman/civilian)
[size=18]Plotting[/size]
[b]Past Relationship:[/b]
[b]Present Relationship:[/b]
[b]Desired Future Relationship:[/b]
[size=18]Opinion[/size]
[b]Your Opinion of Hammer:[/b] “I’m talking about Captain Hammer in the first person! I should probably go on for at least a paragraph.”
[b]Hammer’s Opinion of You:[/b] (I’ll put this in :3 )